How could I have gone my whole life not knowing? Well, that's a pretty simple answer really. I had no idea what Autism was, I just knew that I was different.
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I had all the same misconceptions that many people still have today about ADHD and Autism. If you're Autistic, you're either a savant or you're intellectually disabled, flap your hands, and are high support needs.
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If you have ADHD you're bouncing off the walls, can't pay attention to anything anyone is saying, and randomly announce the presence of squirrels every so often.
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Like many women, it wasn't until my son was diagnosed and I learned Autism is hereditary that I began seeking answers. I discovered that women mask their symptoms as a compensatory strategy so well that many of them often go undiagnosed.
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My story is not unique but there's still so much people don't know about what Autism and ADHD can look like. I'm simply on a journey to share my story and hopefully give people a glimpse into what being neurodiverse can look like.
I am a late diagnosed female with Autism and ADHD
Hi! I'm Jenn!
People have a lot of ideas about what Autism is. More support needs = more autism.
But Autism isn’t a sliding scale from little to more – it’s a spectrum.
Boys are diagnosed almost four times more often than girls, and referred for evaluations ten times more often.
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So, girls are already at a disadvantage for getting a diagnosis or being believed. According to psychologist Tania Marshall, Autistic girls may present like a 'tomboy' or 'ultra feminine', but the latter may have an even harder time being believed because they fit what society thinks they should look like.
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One of the most important things I’ve learned about being neurodivergent so far, is that the medical ‘deficits’ described in the DSM5 are wrong and they are dictated by a social model of prevalence. My way of thinking and experiencing the world isn’t wrong, it’s quite simply a variation of the human continuum. We are not disabled by our neurotype, we are disabled by our environment.
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Having special interests isn’t wrong. How we express special interests isn’t wrong. Someone flapping their hands in joy isn’t wrong – it’s just different.
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The double empathy problem suggests we don’t have social communication deficits as a general rule, just a breakdown between ND and NT communication styles. ND to ND communication does not experience these breakdowns – so who gets to dictate the reality of which one is the ‘deficit’?
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And finally, 30% - 80% of people diagnosed with autism also have the comorbidity of ADHD. That means that even at the lowest end, 1 in 3 people might have autism and ADHD. Like me.
We call ourselves AuDhD.
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I was missed my whole life but at the age of 39 I was finally diagnosed. I don’t claim to be an expert on anything aside from “my own meandering experience” (shoutout to Baz Lurhman). I would love it if you joined me on my journey.